1. |
Con S Sewer
05:14
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Arrived home from work
Called to go outside
Looked up at the moon again
Awaited notions to rise
Wistfully perused a street
Hanscom Boulevard
Needed to believe tout suite
That I hold the words in my heart
Then I lived another moment
And still one more after that
Grappling with modes
Internal debate
Should I be a connoisseur
Or a woman of fate?
Believed all these years
That everything would work out
But at the same time
My head is full of doubts
There goes another moment
I guess pretty soon I’ll be out
Eyes dart all across the room
But feet stand so still I forget the world moves too
There’s a distance ‘tween my arch and the floor
Creates a growing schism through which all of my intent pours
Out before the world can see
Who I truly am
What is it ‘bout being me
That I don’t understand
Wait, wait up
Wait, wait up for me
Cause baby I’m telling everyone we had pancakes in the dark
And I don’t wanna be the last one to open up my heart
Tonight we’ll stay up to see the sun, Gotta catch first light
My body’s movin’ as I listen to you talk about your life
There’s nothing else we could be doing to make the most of our time
I just wanna spend it here with you as moments pass by
Oh look, there goes one
And so on like they’ve done
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2. |
Raisin
01:57
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Lighten up on the gas moving slower
As we come to the mouth
Of the tunnel I took that first summer
Hold my breath then let it out
Daylight drapes like a red carpet gown when we
Pull off to see the view
Feels like high stakes when I look all the way down
To the depths of
Weight is off in mid-float
Mind is clear, clear my throat
Bear witness to that which is
As body-lightness sinks in
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3. |
Desperate
02:05
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Do you wanna be the one that I come to
When I feel so bad I can’t be soothed
Most of the time I keep my game face on
But for example in the middle of the night sometime things go wrong
Truth is I’m desperate
Please save me from myself
I’m so desperate
I can’t be helped
I don’t wanna be the one who needs you more
But let’s be honest I’m such a chore
Maybe you need me to
I won’t hold my breath I’ve already been through a thing or two
Truth is I’m desperate
Please save me from myself
I can’t help it
I need a hobby
Where have you been?
I haven’t seen you in weeks
Please don’t leave me now
I need your love, I need your sympathy
I know I probably came on a little strong
It’s just because well I just thought we were hitting it off
I’m desperate
I need your help
I’m so desperate
Please save me from myself
I’m desperate
I’ll do anything you want
Cause I’m desperate
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4. |
Feel You
04:45
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At the dawn when the first blossom rose
As if the mouth of a yawn was just boredom imposed on that rosy hill
With the rays of our sun growing brighter still
While the clouds dosey-doed side by side
In the sky
There with a spark then gone with the wind
I don’t know what for or how long it’s been
But we’re here now
And the blossoms still know when to sprout
Even though it’s pretty freaky out
I wanna feel you
Let our hands touch and fingers intertwine
No overthinking
The biggest moment of our lives
I wanna know you
Like I’ve never known anything before
Just the intuition
Of our feet pressing against the floor
All this bullshit of building a wall
To hell with borders, let the empire fall
I’ll go down with you
And we can quit our shitty jobs
And let the seeds that matter bloom
I wanna be there
When it’s sweaty and there is no fan
Only intuition
Of our deep connection to the land
Can we go further
Than we’ve ever gone before?
I wanna be there
To remember and to push for what is more
When I go to sleep do I really wake up?
Is it all a dream that sleeping made up?
When I go to sleep do I really wake up?
Is it all a dream that sleeping made up?
I wanna feel you
Let our hands touch and fingers intertwine
No overthinking
Not like I did all those other times
It’s the end of the world
As we know it and I feel just fine
I wanna know you
And let the passing of our lives
Be like that of the sparrow just learning to fly
Be like that of the sparrow just learning to fly
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5. |
To Prove
02:36
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I’m sick of conversations where mostly men try to dominate ‘em
My primary goal is to hold space but it often feels like a race
I just wanna feel a connection to you
Maybe we can try talking about something brand new
Like the first time you felt so scared
But you didn’t have the words to know
What if we had nothing to prove?
What if we had nothing to lose?
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6. |
Pace of the Universe
03:12
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Gotta take it slow
Gotta see how I feel first
Moving at the pace of the universe
It’s been said that eyes are windows to the soul
When I look directly into yours I have no control
I attempt to let go of everything I think I know
I just wanna be with you
Can we
Ponder all of life’s complexities
So much guilt and shame I have trouble being at ease
I don’t wanna small talk anymore
When I ask you how you are let’s go straight to the core
No sense in saving face
I know you’re fucked up like the rest of the human race
And oh, the darkness, it spills out from all sides
Barely held by stacks and stacks of lies
There’s no end to the pain
Let’s share in our collective agony
Nothing happens all at once
Listening to birds chirp with the backdrop of the setting sun
Another day we’ll have to build upon the work begun
Long before a time I can perceive
Let’s phase out all this deceit
Find something real to believe
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7. |
Celery
01:15
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8. |
Gone
03:19
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Something that I lost, cannot find it
Pretty sure it’s gone, no use lying
Tried so hard to get it back
Piece of me I thought would last
I fall right on the floor
And sing none of this is working
No matter how I try
Looking for the wrong thing
I think that thing died
Tried so hard to get it back
Piece of me I thought would last
Now I just don’t know what to do
I give up, I give up
I give up, I give up
I fall right on the floor
None of this is working
No matter how I try
Piece of me missing
Nowhere left to hide
Ran away in the middle of the night
Got so far now it’s out of sight
Turned my back for too long, it’s gone
Gone, it’s gone
Gone, it’s gone for now
Can I be sure it was even there to start
Does it matter how hard I try?
Coming from the wrong place
Sit and wonder why
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9. |
Trying too Hard
05:46
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Thought that maybe I’d be different
Thought that maybe I should just stop caring
Cause something inside me’s running
Like a train ‘bout to go off the rails
Always wanted to be different
Never satisfied with where I’m at
Turns out I needed more attention
But I was too young to realize that
I think I’m trying too hard
I think I’m trying too hard
I think I’m trying too hard
And I think it’s wearing me down
What does it mean to get good rest and
What does it mean to be a people person?
I’m trying extra just to be myself
The verdict’s out on if it’s really working
What does it mean to be
What does it mean to be
What does it mean to be a stable person?
I think I’m trying too hard
I think I’m trying too hard
I think I’m trying too hard
Why can’t I just let myself be?
Why do I try so hard?
Why do I try so hard?
Why do I try so hard?
Well it’s linked to fear and anxiety
I’m sick of trying so hard
I’m sick of trying so hard
I’m sick of trying so hard
Now it’s time to just fucking stop
<sprout speech>
What am I running away from?
Or am I running right to it, babe?
What am I running away from?
Or am I running right at it, babe?
Can I close my eyes now?
Can I close my eyes now?
Can I close my eyes now and don’t have to worry ‘bout nothing?
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10. |
Veronica
03:07
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Stay another night so I can hold you
Veronica I need your touch
Do you mind being my crutch of the day?
It’s ok, you can use me to
Veronica could you love me?
Just say yes , throw me on the bed
Wrap your arms around my head
And squeeze tight so I might forget it all
Veronica, why is life so hard
Veronica, why is life so damn hard
Stay just one more hour
I’m not ready to face myself
I need your touch to heal my cuts
Though I’m not betting on feeling better anytime soon
Let’s sleep til noon
Veronica, why is life so hard
Veronica, why is life so damn hard?
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11. |
No Wind
04:39
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Can’t say why I don’t trust you
Can’t say why I don’t trust myself
I really need to stop thinking
My emotions are something to quell
If truth was known in the afterlife dear
Would you be less afraid to die?
If you were less afraid to die dear
Would you be less afraid to live?
I should have bought you flowers
Let you in on all my power
There’s no wind in my hair
When I don’t move
I don’t feel the grass right there
But I want to
There’s no wind in my hair when I don’t move
And I know that the way that I look at you
Can feel stale sometimes I don’t mean it to
And I don’t know why I do the things
The sun on the earth knows no bounds
Save for the deep blue sea all the way down
And the parts of my soul I don’t let it go
While I wallow and flit about
On a long sad day in May
The one where my being first entered the fray
Why are we born of a mess then forced to clean up
You must be perfect, but also confess
Cause the guilt I instilled in your eyes
Is roaring like a flame caught just at sunrise
And it’s all too much for one child to hold
A dead bird doesn’t get very old
Doesn’t get very old
I believed you when you said it’d be fun
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